30 Tips For A Better Life

1. Experiment to find out what makes you happy. Different things make different people happy. If you aren't sure what your hot spots are, experiment. Try different things out. Find out what you enjoy most. The answers just might surprise you. Try a few of the following for starters.

2. Surround yourself with others who are happy. If you are around angry, depressed or sad people, it will transfer to you. You can't help it. But if you're around people who are happy, that will also transfer to you. You'll also learn their habits, and learn to react the way they do when something bad happens. Slowly weed out the negative influences on your life and replace them with positive ones.

3. Count your blessings. When something bad happens to you, try not to focus on it. Instead, take a minute to count your blessings. Everyone has good things in their lives, whether it is health or loved ones or whatever.

4. Gratitude sessions. Along those lines, it is a good practice to have a daily gratitude session. Think about what you have to be thankful for, and silently thank those who have done something good for you in some way. If you have time, take the time to call them or email them to thank them.

5. Think solutions. Instead of thinking about problems, move to the next step: how to solve it. When someone says to me, "Oh, this is so hard," or "Oh, I can't seem to do this," or "Man, we don't have any more of that," I just ask them, "Well, what's the solution?" If you develop solution-oriented thinking, you'll be much happier.

6. Connect with others. As much as possible, spend time with those you love, and with others who you enjoy. It could be a simple phone call, or a short visit. Or take a day with the person or people you'd like to spend time with. Have a conversation, do things together, be intimate.

7. Accept things. We are often unaware of it, but we usually want things or people or ourselves to change. And that's a sure way to lead to unhappiness, because we cannot control the world. We have to accept things as they are, try to understand them, even love them. Including and most especially ourselves: accept who you are, allow yourself to be yourself, try to understand and love yourself. Then do the same with the others in your life.

8. Take time to savour life. Instead of rushing from one thing to another, resolve to have less to do each day, less appointments and fewer tasks. Then do each thing slowly, with mindfulness and ease, and try to be present in the moment. And truly enjoy whatever it is you do, from talking to eating to walking to just sitting.

9. Notice small things. Along the same lines, try to notice when you feel good, or you're not suffering, or you are tasting something really delicious, or you feel something cold or hot, anything. Noticing the little things will help keep you focused on the present.

10. Treat yourself. Take a few minutes each day to give yourself a little treat, whether that's something like chocolate or berries, or a bubble bath, or walking barefoot in the grass, or taking a nap. Whatever it is, treat yourself. You deserve it.

11. "This shall pass". When bad things happen, and you're having trouble accepting it, think to yourself the same thing the ancients did: "This, too, shall pass." And it will. And you'll survive.
12. Volunteer. When you give to others, whether that's money or the stuff you no longer need or your time and love, you become happier. It's true. Take 5 minutes today to call a charity and volunteer to donate some time sometime this month. It will make a big difference in your life.

13. Follow your passions. If you do what you love to do, especially for a living, you wil be extremely happy. This is one of the best things you can do. If it seems impossible, don't give up. Others have done it and you can too.

14. Look at your achievements. Instead of looking at what you haven't done, or what you've failed at, think about what you have done. Many times that's much more than we realise.

15. Laugh. Just the simple act of laughing can make you happier. Watch a funny film, tell jokes, read a book by Spike Milligan or whoever makes you laugh, go to humour sites on the Internet. And laugh your head off.

16. Realise that you deserve it. You deserve happiness. That simple statement is actually profound for many people, as they don't believe they really deserve to be happy. It's often unconscious. If you feel that within yourself, you need to first realise that you deserve happiness. Repeat it if necessary.

17. Get into the flow. There is a state of doing known as "Flow", which is when you completely lose yourself in a task and forget about the world around you. It leads to happiness, and productivity. Set yourself up for it by clearing distractions, giving yourself a challenging (but achievable) task, and making it something that you like doing. Then try to lose yourself in that task.

18. Have a goal. Too many goals will lead to ineffectiveness. Try to choose one goal and really focus on it. And work to accomplish it. Goals lead to happiness, if you make progress on them.

19. Get inspired. Take time to read blogs or books or magazine articles about success stories related to what you want to do. It will get you energised.

20. Celebrate. When you do something right, when you accomplish something, when you feel like it, reward yourself. Celebrate. Have fun, and pat yourself on the back.

21. Autonomy. Try to have at least one area in your life where you have autonomy. It's best if this is at work, but if not, find another place, such as a hobby or civic activity. You need to be in control of what you do to be happy.

22. Spend time doing something you love. Make room in your life by eliminating some of the commitments you don't really like doing, and replacing them with something you truly love.

23. Show little acts of kindness. Each day, try to be kind to others in little ways, opening doors, smiling, giving up your place in line.

24. Exercise. Just a short walk or run could lift your spirits and reduce stress. Nothing difficult. Just get outside and move.

25. Catch negative thoughts. Monitor your thoughts. When you catch negative ones, try to think of something good instead. Anger, Hatred, Irritation and Jealousy- All these thoughts are negative.

26. Jealousy doesn't help. Many people obsess about others who are successful or happy. That gets you nowhere, fast. Instead, be happy for them. Then focus on yourself, and what you do right.

27. Stop watching and reading news. Sure, this sounds like a head-in-the-sand suggestion. But really, if you give this a try, you won't miss a thing. And instead, you can focus on reading books and listening to music that lifts you up.

28. Learn something new. It's strange how many of us are afraid to try new things, or admit we don't know something. But learning new skills or new information is one of the most fun things there is to do. Give it a try.

29. Check out nature. Go and watch a sunrise or sunset. Watch the water, whether that's a river or ocean or lake. Watch the stars, or the clouds. Watch animals. Watch people. Watch children. And be inspired by it all.

30. Laugh some more. When you are in the middle of a bad situation, look around you, realise the absurdity of the situation, and just laugh. In a year, no one will care. In two years, you'll be laughing at this anyway. So laugh now, and be happy now.

Gorillas and Bananas

The Gorillas and the Bananas Story

An experiment was conducted with four gorillas who were moved into the same cage. When the gorillas were first introduced into the environment, the experimenters would lower bananas into the centre of the cage. When the gorillas went after the food, all were hosed down with a high-pressure water hose. Even if only one went after the food, all received the same treatment.

As expected, soon the gorillas did not go after the bananas when they were lowered into the cage. Behaviour was trained and reinforced.

Now, the experimenters replaced one of the gorillas.
When the bananas were lowered into the cage, the new gorilla, of course, started toward the free meal. The other three gorillas knew what would happen, so they quickly jumped the new gorilla, keeping him from causing the dreaded response of water,

Although perplexed, the new gorilla quickly learned not to go after the food lowered into the cage, and to jump any other gorilla that did the same.

The experimenters continued by slowing replacing each gorilla one by one. The result was the same: the new one went for the food the others jumped him.

Soon the experimenters had replaced all of the four original gorillas. Keep in mind that the high-pressure water hose had not been used since the first four gorillas were together. But every time a new gorilla went for the food lowered into the cage, the others stopped him cold.

The experimenters were able to go several generations away from the original four gorillas, but still the behaviour did not change. None of the gorillas knew why they shouldn’t go for the food, but they knew what to do if any one did. It was what was done before them, and before them, and so on. A proud tradition was born.

You ever heard the response when some one asks "Why did you do that?"......

"That's the way we do things round here."

Lesson: Behaviour is learned

Acknowledgement - Stuart Emmett